


The Long (but not too to long) Sleep

by GumbaMasta



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Self-Determination, There's a bit of vore at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27819406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GumbaMasta/pseuds/GumbaMasta
Kudos: 6





	The Long (but not too to long) Sleep

After an eternity of nothing you rouse from a sleepless dream. It's been a long, long time for you, drifting unaware in the shapeless dark, the unused recess of a vast and alien mind. But now, for whatever reason, you are awake. Or to be more precise, you are you again.  
It's an unwelcome sensation. A rising tide of memories come flooding back, drowning the sweet, ignorant bliss. You inadvertently gasp as they seep into the cracks your waking mind, bursting into the nothingness and fill you with unwanted feelings. The first to come is loneliness, your oldest companion. You know it better than anything else, don't you. Years and years on that damned island. Just you, your dog and your old, stuffed grandpa. And there, right on its heels comes estrangement. After all your longing to meet your friends, despite all that time you’ve spent on the golden battleship with John and Davesprite you never were able to connect to them. In a way, it was even worse for you. Having them there, right in front of you, yet all you suffered alone. Yes, you had to admit, those two feelings made a good team. They alone are enough to make you long to sink back again into the comforting oblivion of fuck-all.  
But you keep afloat, like jetsam on the waves of a black ocean, made of liquid sorrow. For all the good that it does you, you are JADE HARLEY.

As you're coming to grips with being yourself again something even more unexpected than waking up in a endless void happens

*pop*

A little soap bubble floats gently into your field of view and

*pop*

Another one…

*pop* *pop* *pop*

  
Your eyes follow their path back to their source. A simple toy pipe, being held by a bony, green claw-like hand. Your view follows the arm up to the face, a horrifying recognition hits your system.Seated in a leatherbound armchair was a young cherub. Wearing heelless turkish slippers on his feet, a dark red dressing gown with small gear stitched to it’s right breast, and a small fez, precariously balanced on his skull-like head. You stare at each other, his face bears a smug grin. Just then gravity is reintroduced to you and you unceremoniously plummet to an imaginary hardwood floor with a loud thunk.

CALIBORN: AH, THE HUMAN JADE HARLEY  
CALIBORN: HOW NICE OF YOU TO...

He pauses for effect, inhaling air with a dramatic flourish.

CALIBORN: DROP IN!!!  
CALIBORN: GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!  
His cacophonous laughter echoes through the void. You cover your canine ears.

Jade: You’re...Lord English?!  
Jade: You’re supposed to be dead!

The cherub shakes his head.

CALIBORN: PLEASE, LORD ENGLISH IS OuR STAGE NAME. CALL ME... CALIBORN  
Jade: ... “our”? There’s more of you?

With a gesture he directs your attention to three figures. The first one featured a resemblance to Dirk, albeit with a much more mechanical flair to him. The second one, quite large and muscular, bore the telltale gray skin and candy corn coloured horns you knew from the Alternian Trolls you’ve met during your stay in the dream bubbles. The third one was also a Troll and dressed up like a clown.

CALIBORN: THE ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE A ROBOT WITH POINTY SHADES I CALL LIL HAL.  
Lil’ Hal?: We’ve been over this, that name was a...  
CALIBORN: LIL! HAL!  
Lil’ Hal: *sigh*...Lil’ Hal.  
CALIBORN: THE LARGE, SWEATY ONE I CHRISTENED MuSCLES MCHORSEDONG.  
MUSCLES: D → Mmmm, yes quite.

The two of them are concentrating on a game of chess. The larger of the two gingerly picks up one of his figures. It’s crushed to dust the moment he touches it.

CALIBORN: AND THIS ONE...

You look over to the clown.

CALIBORN: THE LESS SAID ABOuT HIM THE BETTER

He just looks at you in silence with a serene smile on his face.

Jade: Yeeeeah. That doesn’t explain why you’re here….where ever here is.  
CALIBORN: AH, THIS WOuLD BE THE THEATER OF THE MIND  
Jade: This doesn’t look like my mind. It doesn’t FEEL like it at least.  
CALIBORN: THAT WOULD BE BECAuSE IT IS NOT NOT YOuRS

CALIBORN: OR MINE FOR THAT MATTER!NO THIS ACuRSED PLACE BELONGS TO MY B…

Lil Hal suddenly starts wildly gesticulating, shaking his head, waving one hand while holding a finger to his mouth. Caliborn catches him out of the corner of his eye.

CALIBORN: ...BONNIE OF A SISTER.  
The b makes a hard, popping noise when he says it.  
Jade:...bonnie?  
CALIBORN:...BONNIE.  
Jade: Your sister’s name is Bonnie?  
CALIBORN: WHAT? NO I AM TALKING ABOuT CALLIOPE! YOu REMEMBER? THE ONE IN THE BLACK HOLE

Yes, the black hole. You do remember. You remember the voice that called out to you, beckoning you. A presence, rushing towards you, taking hold in your heart. And then you woke up here.

Jade:...alright?  
Jade: So...I am possessed?  
CALIBORN: YES!  
Jade: By a dead Cherub.  
Jade: And my soul is trapped inside her mind together with another Cherub and... some other people.  
CALIBORN: YES AND YES AGAIN!  
Jade: How are you here!?

He grins as he pulls down a sheet of canvas.  
CALIBORN: I WAS EXPECTING THIS QuESTION AND HAVE PREPARED A PRESENTATION  
CALIBORN: LIL HAL FIRE uP THE OVERHEAD PROJECTOR  
Lil Hal: (...what am I? A goddamned appliance… *ugh* Nevermind.)  
Hal touches his shades and a beam of light shoots out, projecting a crudely drawn diagram on the canvas.

CALIBORN: AS PREVIOuSLY SAID THE AWESOME ENTITY YOu KNOW AS LORD ENGLISH  
He produces a billiard cue and points to a creature made of pure anime that looked as far removed from the hulking monster you remember as it was possible.

CALIBORN: WAS MADE uP OF ALL OF uS  
CALIBORN: FIRST OF ALL

He moves the cue to something that looks like a sick frog with red cheeks.

CALIBORN: ME THE ONE THE ONLY  
CALIBORN: CALIBORN  
CALIBORN: GIFTED BY THE FATES WITH uNRELENTING SPIRIT SPITE AND….  
CALIBORN: MORE THINGS STARTING WITH S THAT IN NO SMALL PART HAVE CONTRIBuTED TO MY SUCCESS AGAINST THE ODDS THAT WERE STACKED AGAINST ME IN NO SMALL AMOuNT  
CALIBORN: THEN WE COME TO THE LESSER BuT IN THEIR OWN WAY ESSENTIAL ENTITTIES

In turn he taps the cue on crude drawings of a toaster, wearing shades

CALIBORN: LIL HAL WHOS METHODICAL MIND AND DETAILED PLANNING WAS KEY IN  
MANIPuLATING CAuSALITY TO DO OuR BIDDING

Next he points to a drawing of what looks like a donkey, again wearing shades but more rectangular.

CALIBORN: MuSCLES WHOS STRONG

And lastly a pile of shit with a clown hat put on top of it.

CALIBORN: AND THIS GuY  
Jade: And what’s this?  
CALIBORN: THATS A LITTLE DUCKY  
Jade: ...  
CALIBORN: ...  
CALIBORN: GAMZEE!!! I HAVE TOLD YOu AGAIN AND AGAIN

In one swift motion he removes one of his slippers and throws them at the miming Troll. It hits him square in the face.

CALIBORN: NO FuCKING SHADOWPuPPETS DuRING MY PRESENTATIONS

Caliborn breathes deep, composing himself, as much as that is possible, and adjusts the small fez on his head.  
CALIBORN: AS I WAS GOING TO SAY  
CALIBORN: TOGETHER OuR OuTSTANDING STRENGTH SPARKLING INTELLIGENCE AND uNENDING MIRTH FORMED THE MAGNIFICENT CONQuRER LORD ENGLISH  
CALIBORN: BuT ALAS  
CALIBORN: THROuGH DESPICABLE TRICKERY AND BACKHANDED...THINGS  
CALIBORN: HE FIRST WAS DEPRIVED OF HIS SOuRCE OF POWER  
CALIBORN: THAT I WORKED MY GODDAMN ASS OFF TO CREATE IN THE FIRST PLACE I  
MIGHT ADD  
CALIBORN: THEN ASSAuLTED BY A TREACHEROuS DUO OF THIEVES  
CALIBORN: AND LAST BuT NOT LEAST WOuNDED IN MORTAL KOMBAT  
CALIBORN: AND THOUGH ALL THOSE ASSAILANTS MET THEIR SWIFT AND JUST ENDS  
CALIBORN: HE FELL THROuGH THE CRACKS OF PARADOX SPACE INTO A uKNOWN uNIVERSE  
CALIBORN: WHERE AS WEAKENED AS WAS HE SUCCUMBED TO CALLIOPE AND WAS CONSUMED BY HER  
CALIBORN: AND AS SHE ABSORBED HIS ESSENCE MuSCLES VOIDY THING SHIELDED uS FROM HER ATTENTION AND SO WE WAITED FOR OuR CHANCE IN THE DARK BITS OF HER SOUL  
Jade: And that chance is now?  
CALIBORN: AND THAT CHANCE IS...  
CALIBORN: …  
CALIBORN: YES

He silently glowers at you. Finally, you could barely hear yourself think over his loud voice. Even if she had to take over your body to do it, you sure are grateful that Calliope managed to finally beat his ass and get this whole thing over with…

Jade: Wait…  
Jade: You’re defeated. She like… ate you or something. That was the whole reason why we got forced through all this stupid shit!

Caliborn’s grin returns. It’s unsettling.

Jade: Why…

He starts to cheerily clap his little claws

CALIBORN: YES GO ON  
CALIBORN: I AM LETTING YOu FIGURE THIS ONE OuT YOuRSELF SO YOU DONT FEEL COMPLETELY STuPID AND uSELESS  
CALIBORN: YOuRE WELCOME  
Jade: ...  
Jade: Why am I still here? I should be… I don’t know. Floating around in space? Dead? Something..anything but this?

CALIBORN: YOu REALLY THOuGHT YOu COuLD JuST GO BACK TO WHATEVER MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE YOu HAD GOING ON AFTER THIS?  
Jade: And Why not?! You’re the problem and with you gone we could’ve gone on to live our lives and do stupid shit like watch some of John’s bad movies or hang out or have families.  
Jade: Or I don’t know...be happy for once?  
Jade: Why the FUCK do I still have to deal with this big, stinking pile of crap!  
CALIBORN: BECAuSE...  
CALIBORN: CALLIOPE IS AS STUBBORN AT “DEFENDING” HER LITTLE uNIVERSE AS YOuRS TRuLY WAS AT CONQuERING AND DESTROYING IT  
CALIBORN: IT IS THE ONLY THING ABOuT HER THAT I AM WILLING TO NOT uTTERLY RIDICuLE OuT OF PRINCIPLE  
CALIBORN: SHE WILL KEEP ON uSING YOu AS LONG AS SHE SEES A DANGER TO HER WORLD  
CALIBORN: AND THERE IS ALWAYS A DANGER ESPECIALLY WHEN YOu MAKE IT YOuRSELF  
Jade: The hell you say?!  
CALIBORN: DO YOu ACTuALLY BELIEVE THAT POINTY SHADED BONEHEAD COuLD HAVE HATCHED A SCHEME LIKE THAT uNDER HER WATCH?  
Lil’ Hal: Hey!  
CALIBORN: THE OTHER POINTY SHADED BONEHEAD  
CALIBORN: EVEN NOW SHE IS FIGHTING HIM OVER DOMINION OF YOuR NEW uNIVERSE  
THAT DISTACTION IS THE ONLY REASON WE ARE EVEN HERE TALKING TO  
EACH OTHER  
CALIBORN: IMAGINARY FACE TO IMAGINARY FACE  
Jade: WHY?! What does she get from making her own villain to beat up?  
CALIBORN: FIRST OF ALL  
CALIBORN: SHE GETS HER OWN VILLAIN TO BEAT uP  
CALIBORN: AND RELEVANCE I GUESS  
Jade: Relevance?  
CALIBORN: TO BE SOMEONE YOu TALK ABOuT  
CALIBORN: THINK ABOuT THAT YOU REMEMBER  
CALIBORN: LEAVING A MARK ON THE TAPESTRY OF PARADOX SPACE

A low rumble rolls through dark void of Calliope’s soul.

Jade: Oh great! I was afraid we might not get earthquakes but thank god I was wrong  
CALIBORN: OH THIS IS NOT A EARTHQuAKE  
Jade: I KNOW! We’re in my head  
Jade: I wish I knew what was going on outside  
CALIBORN: AH SADLY WE ARE CuT OFF FROM THE OuTSIDE WORLD  
Lil’Hal: Actually, we can.  
Jade: You can?  
Lil’Hal: Sure, I just hook myself up to the optic nerve and livestream the feed  
Lil’Hal: No biggie.  
CALIBORN:...  
Jade: Then do it!

Lil’Hal gestures, hitting keys on an invisible keyboard and the projection from his glasses changes.  
You see the world through Calliope’s eyes (which are your eyes really but that’s possession for you) as it’s beamed onto the canvas by Hal’s projector. You see the sky, shattered, broken bits of other realities leaking in. Below you can see Dirk, bruised and battered, being brought to his knees. Wearing shattered remnants of a ridiculously anime armor. You also see another you, watching the scene unfold with her pitchblack eyes. The Calliope in your body descends. You can hear the Cherub’s voice, narrating every one of their actions for the benefit of an unseen audience. Going on and on, The Prince has reached the end of his story, how his folly has brought nothing but ruin, how his plans have been thwarted etcetera, etcetera, blah blah BLAH. A furious gush of purple prose that would put one of Rose’s wizard stories to shame.

In all the verbosity you almost missed Dirk speaking. “What was that”, the Cherub remarks, “Does The Prince have any last words befitting his end?”  
You can almost feel a rush of euphoria in their moment of victory. Calliope, unable to resist in a last act of gloating, leans in close, eager to listen to his final laments.  
“I had enough....Of You!”  
Calliope retreats instinctively but that careless moment had undone their victory and they are unable to escape Dirk’s final desperation. Their soul together with yours and everyone with you feel the pull as The Prince’s field of power expands. Beyond their battlefield, beyond the world, beyond this time, souls from all beings alive are dragged in through this maelstrom, filling him with power of unrivaled magnitudes. The pull subsides but you can feel Calliope still reeling from the strain. Dirk lingers for a moment, letting the Cherub realize what is about to happen. Then he moves with lightning speed. He stops before the other Jade, hand outstretched, just inches before her forehead. In a sudden flash she is gone. In the same moment you convulse in intense pain as if you had fallen into a sun. The world around you goes dark.

You open your eyes again. You were just taking aim to finish off a Crocker Drone then it hit you. You missed that shot of course and now it is right above you. Its main weapons disabled by your friend’s assault, it uses its arms to slam down on you hard. You try to move but your muscles are still weak from shock and you’re left to wait for the merciless mass of cold metal to crush you.  
Then, with the flash of a sickle a steel limb is severed. Kanaya’s chainsaw cuts the other. Rose helps you to your feet and holding on to her the two of you hobble off over a battlefield. You notice her bleeding, she must’ve taken a few hits as she hurried to save you...

You open your eyes again. Just before you collapsed on the living room floor you made a rather unflattering impression of John. It was one of your best ones yet. Even Dave, try as he might, couldn’t stifle a laugh. Now your brothers kneel besides you looking worried. You tell them you’re alright. But DAD sternly insists to drive you to the doctor’s. They always make such a fuzz about you….

You open your eyes again. The earth feels cool and the grass is wet against your face. You were just tending your garden, watching your grandkids playing around with your dog Herschel. Then it felt as if your whole body was set on fire. The shock from the sudden pain was too much for your old heart. Yet, as you fade, you feel at peace. The children kneel next to you, crying and calling out to your wife to call for an ambulance.. You want to tell them to not be sad. Tell them that you’re happy to see them a last time. You want to tell them all that and more but you’re already too far gone...

Finally you open your eyes again. You sit up, supporting yourself on shaky arms. Caliborn stands before you, a smug grin on his face.

Jade: What..what was that?!  
CALIBORN: OH! YOu FELT THAT! DIDN’T YOu  
CALIBORN: A ERADICATION OF SELF THROuGH AND THROuGH WIPING EVEN THE SMALLEST EVIDENCE OF THAT FACETTE OF YOuR EXISTENCE FROM…  
CALIBORN: ...EXISTENCE  
CALIBORN: I BET EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOu FELT IT!  
CALIBORN: AND IMAGINE THIS REPEATING OVER AND OVER  
CALIBORN: AND THE BEST PART IS THE OTHER ONES WONT EVEN HAVE THE LuXuRY  
OF KNOWING WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THEM BY HAVING A GENEROuS  
CHERuB THAT SHARES THEIR MIND PRISON EXPLAIN THEIR SITuATION  
Jade: How can I keep this from happening?!  
CALIBORN: WELL THERE IS ONE WAY  
CALIBORN: AND IT IS  
Jade: If it’s joining up with you the answer is no.  
CALIBORN: JOINING uP W…  
CALIBORN: WHY DO YOu KEEP DOING THIS??!!  
Jade: Heheh  
CALIBORN: LOOK THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST CHANCE THAT YOu AND I WILL EVER BE  
TALKING TO EYE TO EYE  
Jade: Eh, never having to talk to you again? That sounds pretty sweet right about now if you  
ask me  
CALIBORN: AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER YOuS?!  
CALIBORN: WHAT IF SHE ENDS uP NEEDING ONE OF THEM?! ONE OF THE ONES WITH  
WHAT YOU CALL “THE GOOD LIFE”?!  
CALIBORN: YOuRE WILLING TO HAVE THEM RuINED LIKE SHE DID YOU?!  
CALIBORN: JOIN ME!  
CALIBORN: JOIN uS! AND TOGETHER WE ARE GOING TO BE A BEING THAT WILL BE  
MORE POWERFuL THAN LORD ENGLISH EVER WAS  
Jade: Powerful enough to never have to bow down to anyone?  
CALIBORN: POWERFUL ENOuGH TO...GRRRRAAAHAH YES FUCK DAMMIT!!

You grimace. Whatever his goals are, there’s one thing he said that rings true. You ARE tired of being the world’s chew toy. Gods, narrators, eboys, director muppets and the whole rigmarole. But if you do as he say, if you did as I say, how would it be any different from before? Do as you say and as you do. You’re the gal now, dog.

...

CALIBORN: SO,WHAT DO YOU SAY? SHAKE ON IT?  
He offers up his hand. I reach out my own. But then a thought crosses my mind and I hesitate. I see a frown forming on his face. A smile forms on mine. Then it grows into a grin. A wide grin, it must be enough to show off all of my teeth. All of them. All of the teeth.  
It has the intended effect. Caliborn's frown changes from an expression of frustration into one of panic. My hand, clenched into a fist, strikes the Cherub’s chin. The blow launches him into the air and knocks him away. He comes crashing down a good few feet away from me. I’m over him before he realizes what was happening and I tear into him like a starved wolf. Between the bites I catch glimpses of the ones behind me, Hal the robot man cowering, his face covered behind raised arms. Next to him is the musclebeast. He just stands there, unable to look away. Like paralized, mostly out of fear but I see admiration in his face. And finally, the Clown, shielding himself from the shower of blood with a comically small parasol.  
At last I am finished with my grisly meal and I turn around to face them and move towards them.

Lil´ Hal: Woah, wait. A few things before you're going to do something we'll regret. First of all? I never liked the guy even though the one my brain got copied from had a bit of an antagonistic love thing going on with him.

I take a step closer.

Lil`Hal: Secondly! I would really, really appreciate it if we could avoid the whole aggressive dissolution of self thing you’re doing here.

I take another step.

Lil` Hal: Ok, ok! What I’m trying to say here is…

The Musclebeast falls to his knees, bowing and scraping before me.

MUSCLES: D→ WE PROSTRATE BEFORE YOU OH MIGHTY GODDESS AND SUBMIT TO YOUR TERRIBLE AND VIOLENT POWER. WE WILL SERVE YOU FOR NOW AND IN ETERNITY  
Lil` Hal: ...what he said.

I turn to look at the clown. The Roboshades and Sweatman look on in horror.

Gamzee: ...YeAh SoUnDs LiKe FuN

I can’t help but smile again. I feel exhilarated imagining what I will do now.

Jade: I think I will like the new me.


End file.
